Trump Now Hawking $60 Bibles on Truth Social
Mar. 26, 2024
Former president Donald Trump, who has recently been comparing himself to Jesus Christ at his rallies, is now hawking Bibles he is selling for $60 each. Trump’s Bible also includes a copy of a handwritten chorus to Lee Greenwood’s “God Bless The USA,” as well as copies of the US Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence, and the Pledge of Allegiance.
So, Trump’s now selling both gold sneakers and Bibles? Gee whiz, it sounds like Mr. Trump has gone full-on “Paper Moon” about this. I assume this Bible will be known as the “King Don” version. If so, I suppose that would mean it will be printed “upside down.” Trump seems to have a preference for that in his Bibles. I mean, it isn’t like he or any of his MAGA sycophants will actually read it, so I guess it really doesn’t matter which direction the printing goes.
Of course, a more likely scenario is Trump probably figured, “Why pay to have Bibles printed,” and just had a bunch of his goons steal Gideon Bibles out of the drawers of motel room nightstands. Then, they just stuff a few cheaply printed copies of US documents inside and send them on their way to the MAGAs. Of course, the poor half-witted MAGAs probably believe these Bibles will help them to “pray,” when what they actually will do is help Trump to “prey” – on them.
You know, its funny, but when I was just a kid, my mom bought a Bible for me. That said, I don’t seem to remember ever reading any passages in the scriptures about, “And the Lord told Donald Trump, ‘Now, get out there and sell some Bibles for me, dude!’ Let’s Make America Pray Again.” Now, while I haven’t actually seen the Trump Bible, rumor has it the “first commandment” in the Trump Bible reads, “Thou shalt commit Adultery” followed by “Money changers in the Temple are now perfectly fine.”
Ironically, his “Truth Social ad tells buyers, “Please allow 4 to 6 weeks for delivery.” I guess that’s because they’re shipping them all the way from “the year 1957.” Now, the question is, will a “Trump on a Cross” Christmas ornament be next? Hell, if he needs to be strung up on a cross to pose for it, let me know. My next-door neighbor has a nail gun. Meanwhile, MAGAs simply can’t wait to get their hands on the new “Trump Bible.” Seems the long-awaited sequel to “Mein Kampf” has finally arrived.
by Johnny Robish © Copyright 2024
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